Dark Star Safari

I have been reading the book Dark Star Safari by Paul Theroux for over three months now. Theroux was a Peace Corps volunteer here in Malawi during the 60’s, the final years of the British Protectorate. In the book he is documenting his present day travels from Cairo to Cape Town.

Each morning as I wait for my ride to the office, I sit on my front porch, read a few pages and reflect. Theroux is traveling mostly over land to experience Africa some forty years after serving as a teacher in a school near Zomba. His writing is highly critical of both the “agents of virtue” and the state of African development. Constantly questioning the charities running feeding programs and even the work of foreign teachers, he contrasts his memories to current realities, being disappointed by the resulting conclusion that things are worse now than they were then.

As a Peace Corps volunteer, it is not a cheery read. Theroux, turning 60 during his long safari south, is a man torn by his compassion for the continent’s people and his frustrated desire to see things improve. I struggle with his grim assessments and find myself comparing myself to those in his writing. Will what I am doing last? Or is what I am doing further stunting the development of an independent and productive Africa? And on a more personal level, will my compassion only lead to a frustrated and bitter life?

Professionally, it is my responsibility to continue to ask these difficult questions, to evaluate my work with a critical eye. However, I often think that being who I am and having experienced what I have experienced, I have little choice but to continue. I see my happiness in the fleeting moments when I connect with those around me, in the discovery of new places and ideas and I see the contentment I seek which rests in the self acknowledgement of my earnest, if modest, efforts. Though I am uncertain of my impact, I am confident in my good intentions and that is the best that I can go on.

So as I read of a journey south through the heart of Africa, I open my mind and my soul. I listen to the criticisms and doubt. I acknowledge the potential for benefit or harm. Daily I live the pages of this book and share in the experiences of so many others making small steps towards a more just world.